@mrtruthandsoul: The best thing about sitting next to the white guy with dreads on the bus is no one thinks you're the one that farted
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@BruceForce: WARNING: DO NOT TRY AND EAT WARREN BUFFET. HE IS NOT AN ACTUAL BUFFET AND IS NOT MADE OF FOOD
@bromanconsul: congrats to those who made it onto my "Not A Lizard" spreadsheet in 2015. to the rest of u, better luck next year and/or die reptilian scum.
@E_lok44: *puts down window Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Yes *puts up window and drives away
@WhtUReallyMean: I think my downstairs neighbors are beginning to suspect I'm living in their attic.