@shanethevein: The best thing about Twitter is that I can reveal my deepest and darkest secrets and you dumbasses think I'm joking.
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@BradBroaddus: Can someone please invent pantyhose that don't rip? I think everyone in this bank just saw my face.
@Kyle_Lippert: I nominate Chris Brown to dump a bucket of boiling hot water on himself & to raise awareness for domestic violence.