@david8hughes: "The best things in life are free." ~ shoplifters.
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@thejamietighe: *rides in on giant turtle* Me:Sorry I'm late. Boss:You rode that to work? Me:No, went to the zoo. *phone rings* Me:That'll be the zoo.
@LifeUnPinterest: *Texting* HIM: Do you have any snacks? ME: In my panty. H: Lol, you misspelled "pantry." M: Nope.