@charmfoz: The best things in life are free. Unless it's herpes. Stay away from people who want to give you free herpes.
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@Momtoteens: Wifi went down during family dinner tonight. One kid started talking and I didn’t know who he was.
@TheMichaelRock: Found a baby snake in my backyard while mowing. Long story short, I don't have to mow anymore since my yard is on fire.
@_Tempo11: I like to say something disgusting which makes someone else say something more disgusting then I call them a pervert.
@susie_meister: If we eliminated, "Is your car running ok?" from our conversations, my dad and I would never speak.