@Thedudish: The best way to dry off a wet baby is to leave him in a jar of rice overnight.
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@AnOrangeSNES: How to build a nested list 1) Start like this A) Then do this Bird: I live here now 2) Make sure to get the bird out Bird: NO
@midnightwhale: "OPEN THE DOOR IT'S THE POLICE" who is it? "POLICE" what is a police *cops start whispering* "how does he not know what a police is"
@AsgardianRose: Being an adult means I'm in charge of my own bedtime, and I've realized I'm not equipped to handle that responsibility.
@the_paramedicK: Mom: why are your eyes dilated Me: your eyes dilate up to 45% when you look at something you love Mom: what were you looking at Me: memes