@outsmartedmommy: The best way to prepare for Motherhood is to put Dora on TV for 9 months, set your alarm for every 45 minutes and throw food on your floors.
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@SarcasticCharm: Drank enough whiskey to talk the husband into a Titanic reenactment. He's laying in the snow and I won't share the picnic table with him.
@BigBang6000: Still complaining about the guy with a million followers taking credit for your tweets? Never had a boss have you?
@ericsshadow: When my 9 year old gets off the phone with his girlfriend, I'm going to ask him for some dating advice.