@outsmartedmommy: The best way to prepare for Motherhood is to put Dora on TV for 9 months, set your alarm for every 45 minutes and throw food on your floors.
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@stephenjmolloy: Me: "There are so many exotic sounding flavours these days. I just can't resist-" Doctor: "YOU NEED TO STOP DRINKING SHAMPOO!"
@RatCasket: [ISIS cuts off some dudes heads] Whoa thats messed up you better quit it! [ISIS breaks old rocks] OKAY WE HAVE TO STOP THEM NOW.
@ohthatbadger: Don't forget to wear your best clothes to church because Jesus was all about one-upping your neighbour with fancier duds.
@Brianhopecomedy: My son went over to a friend's house & his Mom asked when we wanted him home. From her expression I think she was expecting a time, not day.