@outsmartedmommy: The best way to prepare for Motherhood is to put Dora on TV for 9 months, set your alarm for every 45 minutes and throw food on your floors.
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@junejuly12: Nothing scarier than a server who takes multiple orders without writing anything down.
@UncleDuke1969: Eve: I got an Apple. Adam: ... Eve: ... Adam: ... Eve: What? Adam: I thought we'd decided on Android. Eve: The serpent said this was better.
@theshantilly: *avoids eye contact until 10 ft from friend *keeps avoiding eye contact *walks by friend *hears friend calling name *breaks into a run