@MikeOdenthal: The best writerly advice is to start each paragraph w "Here's somethin for ya!" as the reader is now engaged & will follow you anywhere
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@cepheusjackson: [GRAND CANYON] WIFE: Isn't this incredible? ME: It's ok. WIFE: Were you expecting a thousand canyons? ME: I don't want to talk about it
@EvilHarpy: Man at the dog park: Who's a good girl? WHOSAGOODGIRRRRLLL???? Me: *looks around* *slowly raises hand*
@ch000ch: a fun game to play at the zoo is to walk hurriedly past a person and say "they've escaped. don't run. just walk very fast."
@KalvinMacleod: As the pair of scissors steps up to the starting line, the other runners quickly realize that this race just got a whole lot more dangerous.