@MikeOdenthal: The best writerly advice is to start each paragraph w "Here's somethin for ya!" as the reader is now engaged & will follow you anywhere
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@Jeffwni: [job interview] Interviewer: It says here that you are a blowfish. Would you care to expand?
@missekay: *decides to workout* *lays on ground to do sit-up* *find skittle on ground* *eats it* *takes nap*
@Six_Pack_Mom: Me, to 11 y.o: "You need to apologize to your sister for calling her stupid." 11: "Okkk... I'm sor- wait. Which sister?"
@itsWillyFerrell: Operator: "9-1-1 please hold..." Me: "Ok. Hey, stop stabbing me for a second." Murderer: "K."