@StephenBCramer: The bible says you can't buy your way into heaven but there isn't a church in the country that won't encourage you to try.
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@TashyP_: Anytime my 6 yr old daughter replies with 'What?', there's always that split second where I fight my urge to start quoting Pulp Fiction.
@HiddenPinky: "This does not bode well." - a guy at the returns desk, explaining why he's returning a boder.
@U_Want_Shum_M8: My 5 year old brother said "when I'm older I won't have a GF, I'll live on my own like my big brother" YEAH CAUSE THAT'S TOTALLY A CHOICE
@clarkekant: Obama says he’s pro-vaccine, GOP comes out against it. Now Obama needs to express his support for breathing.