@b_griff88: The cable company is sending a guy out between 1:00 and 2017.
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@Laser_Cat: *gets pulled over* Do you know how fast you were going? *pulls string* *inflates emergency mustache* Oh sorry officer. You're free to go.
@InternetHippo: BEN CARSON’S WIFE: Are you coming home for dinner BEN CARSON: Go to ben carson dot com and read my plan to come home for dinner
@NotThatKristi: If I was a funeral director, I'd tell everyone "I'll see you later" & then wink, because it's fun to freak people out.
@MarkAFuqua_Hunt: I'll always be here for you.... Unless we run out of beer, and someone has some over there. Then I'll be over there for you.