@b_griff88: The cable company is sending a guy out between 1:00 and 2017.
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@SamGrittner: The government has officially replaced all measurements of time with fruit. More news at banana.
@BromanConsul: "BUT WE'RE DATING!" the blonde screams, "I'M YOUR GIRLFRIEND." "You were" Hefner chuckles. "Now you're just some bunny that I used to know."
@Michael1979: At Christmas, it's important to pause and remember all those who have wronged you this year and how you can wreak vengeance on them in 2017
@BeamishBoi: That 0.1% of bacteria that no household product can kill is what will inherit our earth