@Swishergirl24: The cable company told me they would send a guy out and I need to be home between the hours of 1pm and 2014.
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@joshfadem: Jeopardy is petty. If you asked someone "What is snow?" No one would say: It's doubtful an Eskimo would have Chionophobia, a fear of this.
@pinupteacher: [blind date] "Oh wow, I see you brought your Legos." *huge sigh* LEGO. It's called Lego.
@dumbbeezie: Me: What are the lyrics to every 80s sitcom I've ever seen Brain: Coming right up Me: Remember to pay that bill Brain: Nope