@lazerdoov: The Canadian military is just a guy named Ross with a flare gun in an aluminum boat.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MasterOfFury: I'm not stalking you. I'm trying to help you find that sock that you dropped behind the door before you left for work Wednesday at 7:04.
@shkeeber: Mom: Why are you eating my flowers? Me: I'm gonna be young FOREVER! Mom: How? Me: Duh, from the stem cells. Mom: I'm worried about you.
@Jebo_te_patak: You say tomato, I say that's a weird thing to say for no reason. We were just sitting here quietly, and you're all "tomato." You can leave.
@AndrewNadeau0: I eat something every 29 minutes just to ensure no one can ever make me go swimming.