@lazerdoov: The Canadian military is just a guy named Ross with a flare gun in an aluminum boat.
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@msgwenl: Always a bridesmaid, never a new world-order leader in a post-apocalyptic all-powerful matriarchy. Sigh.
@hazelmotes1: My daughter doesn't know I put the last pudding cup in her lunch earlier this evening, so she won't know I took it out and am eating it now.
@Sickayduh: Me: Did you know that a woman's voice gets higher when she's attracted to a man? Her: *batman voice* I have a boyfriend
@TheCiscoKidder: A billion yahoo accounts got hacked, but the most surprising thing is that a billion people had yahoo accounts.