@lazerdoov: The Canadian military is just a guy named Ross with a flare gun in an aluminum boat.
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@GuyThe_Guy: I made it halfway to Mexico before I realized that those sirens were just coming from the song on my radio.
@Beatonm5: Watching the end credits of a movie so you can take note of the producer & director and never ever watch anything else that they make ●︿●
@imence2: Head says "Forget about her." Heart says "Tell her u love her." Bottle of whisky says"Ride the cat around the house & you'll feel better."
@Steven37366100: Friend: What a cute baby! Boy or girl? Me: Guess Friend: What’s its name? Me: Spork