@jasonroeder: The cashier seemed to appreciate that I bagged my own groceries until I unpacked them all and said, "That's how I want you to do it."
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@astutenewf: M: I can't access Twitter IT: We blocked twitter M: What am I supposed to do with this computer now? IT: Work? M: Who hurt you?
@jonnysun: DAD: wat am i chopped liver CHOPPED LIVER: [in this joke imagine choped liver is a sentiemt being] wat the hell is that suposed to mean phil