@3BlindMike: The cat puked all over the bath mat so I just tossed it into the trash can. Then I put the bath mat in the washer.
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@Darlainky: I think we all know that one person who seems to make it a daily goal to incorporate every color of the rainbow in their outfit.
@therepoguy: If your wife says "take out the trash" do not reply with "you cooked it you take it out."
@Book_Krazy: Her: OMG you're alive!!! I heard you bought the farm! ME: No no, I bought "a" farm. HER: but I told everyone you're dead! ME: That's fine
@TheNaique: Every time a magician graduates from his school and throws his hat in the air at the convocation, PETA sues him for cruelty to rabbits.