@revengeofAA: The check engine light could be more specific...is it 'holy shit stop the car right now' or 'proceed with caution for the next 6000 miles'?
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@vulcan_kelly: I'm not being creepy but i can see thru my binoculars that your family portrait is hanging crooked on your wall
@daplusk: [on 1st date] Me: Have you ever flown to Paris on a private jet before? Her: No, I'd love to Me: Same Me: *shows photo of cat* this is Tim
@blondecalamity: Someone should have warned me, that when you have kids, they talk to you, like, ALL. THE. TIME.