@AnOrangeSNES: The chef asked me how I liked my eggs and I accidentally said uneasy instead of over easy. Now I have some uncomfortable eggs staring at me.
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@runawaycupcake: Turns out if you speak with an English accent during an interview it's expected that you'll continue to speak w/accent after you're hired
@ItsLaTourette: I heard girls like guys that are mysterious so I just put a fog machine under my bed
@mattZillaaaa: My credit card company sent me a final notice bill. Good, I was tired of hearing from them