@flashember: the CIA has been tracking me for years cuz they know i saw two sharks jump out of the water and hi-5 but i'd rather die than rat out a shark
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@_ElvishPresley_: INDIANA JONES: this belongs in a museum! *11 people die* INDIANA JONES: this was worth it
@jonnysun: "911 wats ur emergency" hi-- huh? um-- so, uh-- ah. oh geez. well im only just now realizimg that the girl at the bar gave me a fake number
@lasergirl70: Getting rid of my cleaning person sounded like a good way to save money, until it came time to do the cleaning.