@flashember: the CIA has been tracking me for years cuz they know i saw two sharks jump out of the water and hi-5 but i'd rather die than rat out a shark
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@tiReynard: How old were you when you learned Red Velvet is a type of chocolate cake...? I was today years old.
@Iwriteforcats: Jake and the Cat Man: One man solves crime, the other spends the entire show being startled by thunder.
@SwedishCanary: Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but it's not necessary to show it off.
@BonaFideIntent: HR: Me: HR: Me: HR: "..16. 16 STAPLES in Diane's forehead..." Me: HR: Me: "..it was the last twizzler" HR: Me: HR: Me: *eats twizzler*