@daemonic3: The coolest thing about dating Mystique from the X-men is the unlimited free food samples she can get for you at Costco
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@krustythe_klown: WTH! @ The audience that just sat and watched the first ever magician to saw a lady in half.
@ItsAndyRyan: Capt of Titanic: "Mayday! We are sinking" Coastguard: "What happened?" *Cthulhu makes throat-slit gesture with tentacle* Capt: "Iceberg"
@CrazyExhaustion: Went to a public park and my 4yo was like, "Is this Disney World?!" The answer is yes and I'll cut anyone who tells her differently.
@Swishergirl24: Doctor: You have bronchitis Me: OMG I've always wanted a dinosaur!What do I feed it?