@vanderwangwe: The cranberries used to write songs that would get stuck in your head, in your heeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad!
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@jennfer46: Husband wanted me to go hunting today. He bought me the cutest brown outfit and a cute lil hat, you know with the fake antl..wait a minute
@shadygrenade: "Kids, grandma just had hip surgery so I need to warn you, she's not herself." *grandma struts in wearing skinny jeans and smoking an E-cig*
@abbycohenwl: St. Peter: Why should I let you into heaven? Me: Once a coworker said "supposably" 7 times in a meeting & I just let her StP: Get in here
@SmartassChef: Most of my one night stands happened because they knew they would get a fabulous breakfast the next morning.