@shariv67: The developers of Apple Maps first big mistake was not calling it Mapples.
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@dorsalstream: ME: Oh, Sky Butler, help me in my hour of need. GOD: I told you to stop calling me that. ME: Okay, but I can’t find my keys.
@morgana_rogers: 13 year old me: why is my mom texting me? me now: i’m gonna send my mom a pic of this grass cause it’s super green. I think she’ll like it.
@Skoogeth: [being boiled alive in a witch's soup] witch (smacking me with her broom): stop *smack* eating *smack* all *smack* the *smack* potatoes *smacksmacksmack*