@shariv67: The developers of Apple Maps first big mistake was not calling it Mapples.
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@AlexRogaski: Wife: The police are here asking about a break in at the pet store Me from within a pile of puppies: Tell them I'm not here.
@HatfieldAnne: My strong stance on drinking milk straight from the carton has met with no opposition from people who haven’t caught me yet.
@Guinz: You were all Pluto's not even a planet and now you're watching it from your space car all slow and creepy like. Jerk.
@Roweboat13G: A recent medical study shows that women who carry a little extra weight generally live longer than the men in their lives who mention it.