@shariv67: The developers of Apple Maps first big mistake was not calling it Mapples.
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@KeetPotato: [my first day hosting shopping channel] "for those of you who love coconut, boy do we have a product for you" [holds up a coconut]
@Brampersandon_: ME: *packing my bags* WIFE: let's talk about this ME (still mad she didn't get the cereal with the toy inside): theres nothing to talk about
@DBMaxP: Having a dog around pretty much denies any opportunity to take advantage of the 5 second rule on a dropped chip
@pleatedjeans: *gets down on 1 knee* OMG *puts 2nd knee down* WHAT? *lays on floor* JIM? *snake noises* WHAT ARE YOU DOING? *slithers out of relationship*