@poizngrl: The difference between kids waking you up and an alarm clock, is that you can throw the alarm across the room
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@XplodingUnicorn: Me: WHO DREW ON THE WALL?! 4-year-old: 2-year-old: 4-year-old: 2-year-old: 4-year-old: The dog.
@InternetHippo: everyone (crying, begging): please…you cannot be both hot and nice. just pick one me: no
@Scdavis24: If god came down to earth, he'd have to take the form of Morgan Freeman. At this point, anything less would be disappointing.
@girl_a_whirl: His icy glare melts my creamy core. He's so cold, beads of water drip down his exterior. My walls ache to be drowned by him. -Oreo to milk