@poizngrl: The difference between kids waking you up and an alarm clock, is that you can throw the alarm across the room
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@MakeYourBedlam: I like reserving tables at restaurants using unique names so I can hear the hostess announce, "Optimus Prime? Your table for 5 is ready!"
@KentWGraham: There’s a fire at a trick birthday candle plant. Firefighters have been battling the blaze on and off for 5 days.