@poizngrl: The difference between kids waking you up and an alarm clock, is that you can throw the alarm across the room
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@stuckinaportal: god: welcome to heaven, bob. today we reunite you with your soulmate bob: karen! god: karen? your soulmate is a japanese farmer named oshi
@bingowings14: As I walk through the valley of the Shadow of Death, I remind myself that you can't always trust Google Maps.