@poizngrl: The difference between kids waking you up and an alarm clock, is that you can throw the alarm across the room
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@Starchily90: Any time someone says "have you seen that YouTube video?" I always say yes......... Cause otherwise they make you watch it on their phone
@MelvinofYork: I used to have to read my kids a bedtime story every single night until I started randomly killing off characters to amuse myself.
@donni: COP: Anything you say can and will be used against you-- ME: Handcuff keys COP (to his partner): Damn, this guy's good