@brendohare: The doctors all doubted me. They all thought I couldn't do it. They said I couldn't fight them all at once and well, they were 100% right
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@PeaceInTruth1: Coworker: Stop Me: collaborate and listen Coworker: Don't Me: you forget about me Coworker: Hey! Me: teacher, leave them kids alone
@Underchilde: They say they’re free weights, but the gym gets pissed if you put them in your car and leave.
@pmclellan: Despite my rock and roll lifestyle, I'm pretty sure I'm going to die via punctured gums from a tortilla chip.