@hollyberryness: The early bird gets the worm but the early worm gets eaten, so... I choose sleep.
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@MondayPajamas: My new phone has fingerprint recognition security technology and now I can't open my phone unless I'm eating fried chicken
@farleftcoast: Sometimes I get really stoned and stare at phone and wonder why I pay so much money for a government tracking device.
@Dr_powpow: I'm sorry I poked your baby with your selfie stick but I didn't really know what to do with either of them.