@hollyberryness: The early bird gets the worm but the early worm gets eaten, so... I choose sleep.
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@drhappyknuckles: Doctor: Ted, you're dying, Patient: My name's not Ted. Doctor (checking clipboard): Linda, you're pregnant.
@lloydrang: Things i use duct tape for, by percentage: Pranks: 35% Car repair: 35% Wrapping presents: 20% Medical emergencies: 10% Ducts: 0%
@WickedDarkEyes: If you haven't used your fingers to "expand" a picture in a Magazine today, well then you're not me.
@LurkAtHomeMom: IF YOU KIDS DON'T COME BACK TO THIS TABLE AND FINISH YOUR LUNCH RIGHT NOW, I SWEAR I WILL SIGH HEAVILY, EAT IT MYSELF AND GAIN 3 POUNDS.