@QuiteQuietOne: The embarrassment when you wake up to find your panties hanging from a chandelier and think, how did I end up in a place with a chandelier?
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@TommyKarate: Forgot to open the door before applying hand lotion so now I'm stuck in my restroom forever.
@UnFitz: "The Godfather" teaches us that: 1. Nothing is more important than family and 2. Our families are always trying to kill us.
@scorpicpanda: Hubs proposed to me with a really cool flash mob and a medley of Nirvana hits. JK. He was like, "I wanna marry you." And I was like, "K."
@markleggett: Celebrities are so rich because they save money every time they attend a movie premiere for free.