@QuiteQuietOne: The embarrassment when you wake up to find your panties hanging from a chandelier and think, how did I end up in a place with a chandelier?
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@iwearaonesie: if you want your wife to take you seriously, don't throw your sippy cup during an argument
@Book_Krazy: *Aquarium GUIDE: Octopuses are sensitive to camera flash so please turn off...ma'am don't flash the octopus ME: [pulls shirt back down] ok
@GrantTanaka: *lowers head *breaks thru 5 tackles *hurdles lineman *runs 100 yards *hamstrung at goal line *dragged back to line of scrimmage -my wedding
@murrman5: other job applicant: good luck me: im gonna tell the boss you hate his hair other job applicant: what me loudly: I actually like his haircut