@TheBoydP: The end of the month is like stubbing your little toe in the dark. You’re probably broke and there’s nothing you can do about it.
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@deathoftheparty: lookin for a quick and easy way to beef up that scrawny bod and really turn some heads at the beach? float dead in a lake
@ShutUpThatsWho: [opening can of Russian Pringles] once u pop u [inside can is a slightly smaller can] huh [inside that can is an even smaller can] wtf [in..
@ChrisStokdyk: "PSST." It came from my waffles. "PSST," again. "What?" I ask, furtively. "You look really nice today." Complimentary Breakfast
@IamEnidColeslaw: I WISH I WERE PAC-MAN SO WHEN I GOT UPSET I COULD EAT SOME CHERRIES & EVERYONE AROUND ME WOULD TURN INTO GHOSTS