@TheBoydP: The end of the month is like stubbing your little toe in the dark. You’re probably broke and there’s nothing you can do about it.
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@davidkenny100: Pal: my advice for your date is, make her think you're well travelled, girls love it! Later Me: Guess how many buses it took me to get here
@Playing_Dad: [Job interview] Interviewer: Do you have any questions? Me: Who closes the door when the bus driver gets off the bus? Interviewer: Holy shit
@AnnDabromowitz: WOLVERINE'S DAD: Son do you know why I named you Wolverine WOLVERINE: No, father WOLVERINE'S DAD: It is because my name is Wolverine's Dad