@blopt: The entire city of Detroit burned down last night. Estimated damage is $6.
@GFGander: There better be a martial arts tournament in Australia called Mortal Wombat
@Grind_n_Roll: Scientists have spliced the DNA of a human with a sea cow. Oh, the humanatee.
@Just__J0: Half the time I hug anyone I'm just wiping my hands off on their back.
@CornOnTheGoblin: [magicians backstage] don't panic guys but I think we really just sawed that woman in half
@ericacanrant: 911? Yes, I was making donuts and... yes, donuts... yes, I'll hold. DAMN YOU GUYS ARE FAST!