@garrydavenport: The "eye for an eye" philosophy isn't exactly a level playing field if your grievance is with a cyclops.
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@KKAlThani: When I'm at a friend's house & there are snacks, all I'm thinking is "How do I eat everything without looking like a homeless person?"
@mejustbeth: Ever since those 2 weeks in 2008 when no one noticed I was missing, I won't go into a corn maze without a machete.
@MrsRupertPupkin: My cat tried to knock over my TV this morning. WHY ARE MY BEST FRIENDS FIGHTING?!
@amishschool: Offered the kids $5 to clean so they could learn about money and then didn't pay them so they could learn about randomly trusting people.