@TheTweetOfGod: The fact that other bad things are happening is not an argument against fighting a particular bad thing.
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@SirEvisiae: *pretends to throw ball* *dog runs to chase it* Ha, stupid dog. *dog keeps running, disappears over horizon* Um *dog tackles me from behind*
@jwoodham: DATING TIP: Don't reply to texts right away or you might look desperate. Just wait. Give it 5, 10, maybe even 15 years. Keep things casual.
@Ham_Tornado: New children's book I'm working on: "Nobody poops but you, you disgusting little freak".