@moiragallaga: The fact that people use the wrong "your," "there," "it's" and "its" yet spell "Bieber" correctly just kills me.
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@BarndogKarck: Fred: let's settle this once and for all! *fred rips my face away revealing bloody skull* Velma: he wasn't wearing a mask! Fred: I know.
@WilliamAder: There should be a "Life of Pi" TV show, where they throw a different D-list celebrity in a boat with a tiger every week.
@jimmy_boston: Wife: Did you get eggs? Me: pew pew Wife: Great lasers, so did you? Me: pew pew pew pew pee Wife: Why me god. Me: *barrel roll* pew pew