@shutupmikeginn: The fact that they call it the Food Pyramid and not Food Triangle implies it has at least two other sides. So maybe this much taffy is OK
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@girlontapas: My boss is marrying a Chinese woman. Is throwing rice at a Chinese wedding considered lucky or a food fight?
@KarenKilgariff: Watch The Walking Dead with someone who's super into it so every time a zombie appears you can pull the old, "Wait, who's this now?"
@TheRolo: [Sees restaurant is packed] *Pays hostess $20 to read note* "Attn patrons there is a vintage yard sale across the street" *Hipsters clear*