@heidi420x: The filling in fortune cookies tastes like paper..
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@TheSadnesses: if I am elected governor I will eat your pillow while you sleep and unlike my opponent I will also do it if I am not elected
@shariv67: Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
@novicefather: [cuddling] her: what are you thinking about? me: these pretzels are making me thirsty