@NoogsCorner: The first guy to ever throw water at girl in a white shirt probably broke the record for the number of high-fives received in one minute.
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@Fred_Delicious: [sees some cut grass] "Nice" [sees some ripped leaves] "oh yea" [sees a twig with a 6 pack] "holy shit"
@trevso_electric: Thank you for ordering this $2 necklace from Etsy. With shipping your total comes to $758,937. Item will arrive from Uzbekistan in 3 years
@JKNenagh: My wife and I use the pull-out method of birth control where we pull out our phones and ignore each other every night
@SatansTongue: *wife opens present* "You got me the action figure you wanted?" Ugh if you don't appreciate it then give me it *takes gift and runs to room*