@NoogsCorner: The first guy to ever throw water at girl in a white shirt probably broke the record for the number of high-fives received in one minute.
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@Mr_Kapowski: Honestly Officer, the pharmacy ran out of those orange pill bottles so they just gave it to me in this plastic baggie.
@Bad_Ass_Trucker: Women to the left of me Women to the right of me That's when I realized I was in the wrong bathroom
@weismanjake: I wonder if celebrity couples have a list of 5 average citizens each of them are allowed to sleep with if they ever get the chance
@hyperblastchic: "I love potatoes! They are delicious and so versatile. If only they could get me laid..." -how vodka was born