@MattElGato: The first rule of fight club is don't hit hard I'm very sensitive
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@TheTobbie: Someone on my street has taken up the clarinet, which has inspired me to take up the sniper rifle...
@jonnysun: HILLARY: donald-- TRUMP: --wrong HILLARY: …trump-- TRUMP: --wrong HILLARY: [smiling serenely] …is good TRUMP: --wrong. nno wait. nno. no, no
@WilliamAder: I've been hearing noises in the house for a while now and while Twitter was down last night I discovered I have a wife!