@NottaBigDeal: The first rule of fight club is to ask her, "Is that what you're wearing?"
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@AmishPornStar1: Life Tip: If you're ever attacked by a shark, compliment his smile. Sharks are very vain and susceptible to flattery.
@GensPlace: Trying to explain to H that when the doctor said he can have one red wine a day, he didn't mean bottle.
@jwoodham: A horse-drawn carriage sounds really romantic until you realize horses can't even hold a pen and the carriage just looks like a scribble.