@topaz_kell: The first rule of Running Late Club is get stuck behind a Prius.
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@Book_Krazy: Them: We're concerned about you. We think you're a Black Widow [offers me cake & coffee] Me: No thanks. I'm trying not to eat between males
@tdwyer618: "Dad, why did Jesus have to die on the cross?" "He didn't do his 1st grade homework."
@McKnightyBoo: Sorry I yelled: BLESS YOU and handed you a tissue after you told me you loved me Blow your nose, it will pass
@tastefactory: "It's gonna taste really good." - excerpt from the guide What To Expect When You're Expecting Pizza