@topaz_kell: The first rule of Running Late Club is get stuck behind a Prius.
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@KatWar1: [Enters Building] "Excuse..." *Voice fades* "... anyone..." "... how to..." "... out this..." "... ving door?"
@truegritrumble: JUDGE: Where’s your lawyer? ME: I don’t have one. JUDGE: So are you defending yourself? ME: Is that an option? JUDGE: Yes. ME: Okay *swings at bailiff who ducks and tases me immediately*
@TheToddWilliams: An entire cheerleader civilization was wiped out in the eruption at Pompompeii.
@bridger_w: When arguing, I let the other person speak first, then help them see my point by starting with, "Now, what I'm about to say is correct"