@philEfanaddict: The first thing they teach you in AA is to stop hanging around other alcoholics. So I listened, and never went back.
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@david8hughes: If you see a distressed woman in the street screaming that she can't find her baby, don't offer to help her make another one.
@psybermonkey: Exchange student: my village back home still lacks access to clean water Me: ugh I know how you feel. we've needed a Target for like, ever
@HorryPuttor: deer diary: day 67 at hugwerts skool uv wezirdry nd none uv teh studints hav noticd dat my wahnd is an slim jim.