@weinerdog4life: The first thing you'll need if you're planning on stealing an ostrich from the zoo is a car with a sunroof
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@Kirinodere: Obama: I'm going to miss living in the White Hou- Biden: DUUUDE look at my roll! Obama: MAAAN is that UR Kotori?
@DannyMcH2O: Me: What's the capital of Ohio? Son: ... Me: It's also a famous explorer. Son: Dora? Me: Yep. Dora, Ohio.
@John_M15: Saw an article on Facebook that a local bank was robbed. It had one like. They should probably look at that person as the robbery suspect.