@tinynietzsche: The five second rule doesn't apply to babies. You can pick them up anytime after dropping.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Boss: I need you to work late. Me: [sprays her with Pepsi] B: You're fired. Me: So I don't have to work late? B: No. Me: [winks at camera]
@kentgrossarth: The Pope quit. Meteor in Russia. Snowing in Arizona. Star Wars and Star Trek have the same director. Who the hell is playing Jumanji?