@TexasHickspanic: The funniest thing about being sober is to realize you were so drunk last night you were tweeting all night with a calculator.
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@Jake_Vig: I wish people would move over a bit in their selfies. We're redecorating a bathroom and looking for ideas.
@CubanaMama82: If I wasn't supposed to have vodka for breakfast they shouldn't have made it taste so good with orange juice.
@FredPollack: I'm 72 minutes in trying to reverse whatever my 3 y/o nephew did in one second to the TV remote.