@breatheandlove: The good news is, that bag of clothes from 1998 that I still haven't taken to the donation centre…they are back in style now.
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@HallpassCanada: You know you're getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
@AnOrangeSNES: *Snoop walks into a classroom* Snoop: Tell me about the Big Bong Theory Teacher: It's the Big Bang Theory *Snoops walks out disappointed*
@sarcasticmommy4: A quick way to get your kids to leave you alone is to say, "I need to make your dentist appointment."
@xodeadlykissxo: Place a STUDENT DRIVER sign on top of your car, and suddenly nobody suspects you of drunk driving.