@breatheandlove: The good news is, that bag of clothes from 1998 that I still haven't taken to the donation centre…they are back in style now.
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@stuckinaportal: *walks in on son making batman & iron man action figures kiss* wtf? "dad i can explain" u should never EVER mix the dc & marvel universes
@Naked_Superman: Mom: Sorry, I won't be able to come in today. My son's got stuck in the washing machine. Boss: Aw okay. Poor thing, how old is he? Mom: 27
@wilw: I think the blue states should get the taco trucks first, and the red states have to wait, because elections have consequences.
@oakhillbargrill: Once upon a time (today) I had to help with pre school homework Me: -holds up yellow Me: What color is this? 4: McDonalds The end