@TheTweetOfGod: The good news is, Tony Abbott says Australia may have spotted two pieces of the plane. The bad news is, Tony Abbott says a lot of things.
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@djdarrellripley: Him: I'll pay for dinner. Me: I want to pay. Him: I'll feel better if you let me pay. Me: Well, if your health is involved, go ahead...
@_sleepysmile: He thought I wore a size two. A size two?! I started laughing so hard, I spit out the donut I was eating.
@BootsORiley: Had to pause Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory to go buy a king sized Snickers. This is why i can not watch Breaking Bad.
@Naggalie: My husband asks too many questions. "Who is Steve?" "Why does he call all the time?" "What's this bill for a hotel room?"