@Shot_Of_Cabo: The good thing about being a chubby chaser is you don't have to run very fast or very far.
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@rz0ndy: My daughter did a cart wheel and slammed her head right into the coffee table. That's all the DNA test I need.
@thejessbess: This guy at speed dating asked if I have any weird tattoos I was like lol not if you love The Golden Girls.
@aimlessamers: Since it's hunting season, we are allowed to shoot the cars with the antlers on them, right?
@FunnyTunes: Shopkeeper:This is made of pure virgin wool sir. Me:You see I m not interested in the morals of the sheep.Just tell me,will it keep me warm?