@DamienFahey: The government says 50 terror plots have been thwarted since NSA surveillance. What a perfectly even, unsuspicious number.
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@philyuck: She *blows into Nintendo cartridge* took *blows into Nintendo cartridge* the *blows into Nintendo cartridge* kids
@NicCageMatch: Learn from your mistakes. Make better & better mistakes until you're making the best mistakes possible.
@Hellaphantitis: Obama keeps trying to get me to kiss this top secret document from Syria but I keep telling him I'm not the kinda guy who'll kiss intel