@DamienFahey: The government says 50 terror plots have been thwarted since NSA surveillance. What a perfectly even, unsuspicious number.
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@JimmerThatisAll: This day in history. 1701. Maryland legalized divorce in cases where the wife displeased their clergyman. What kind of kinky cult was that?
@neiltyson: If Bears ruled the world, I wonder if they would care whether or not the Humans they mauled were free-range.
@iGreenMonk: TV and the Internet are good because they keep stupid people from spending too much time out in public.
@garrydavenport: Me: "If Americans say 'sidewalk', what do we mean in England?" My six year old: "Crab!"