@imchriskelly: The government should pay for everyone to get massages on November 9th.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Cheeseboy22: The lady behind me in line at Target was frustrated I was writing a check, so I got out a feather pen and ink bottle and did it right.
@iwearaonesie: "UNLESS WE'RE OUT OF CHEESE THERE'S NO REASON TO SCREAM LIKE THAT!" - me to my kid whenever he throws a tantrum
@Wine_Honey1: When I'm exercising with my cats, I barely make it through track one on my playlist before I need a nap in someone's yard. *gets arrested for trespassing
@FriskyOnWhiskey: If anyone's seen me at my best, and seen me at my worse, and still accepts me for who I am, it's definitely the liquor store.