@imchriskelly: The government should pay for everyone to get massages on November 9th.
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@Iwriteforcats: I'm gonna leave this world just like I came in, dawg! "Yo, for sure. Kickin and screamin!" Nah, brah. On a giant spaceship.
@dreamthievin: I need a guy who's cute charming smells good smells really good like cinnamon and sugar and flaky crust and actually I just need some pie
@SardonicTart: Fun prank. Tell your bf you're getting your hair done. Leave. Don't get your hair done. When you come back & he says it looks great stab him