@TheAlexNevil: The Grammy performers prove that no matter age, sex, race, religion or looks, I have no idea who most them are.
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@causticbob: I went for a job interview. The bloke asked, "Where do you see yourself in 10 yrs time?" "Same as now - in photos and mirrors," I replied
@MelvinofYork: I asked a friend if he’d eat a piece of dog crap for $1K and he asked “From whose dog?” I'm having a hard time accepting that as a factor.
@rolldiggity: It's going to be so disappointing if we ask aliens about crop circles and they're just like, "We hate corn."
@gm_cage: My 8 yr old son just told me Nutella is a delicious mix of nuts and umbrellas. He's ready for Twitter.