@PeachyPixel8: The greatest trick The Devil ever pulled was NOT letting his friends and family know he was good with computers.
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@michael_hendrix: Pokemon Go is already more popular than Tinder, another app where you swipe to find monsters in your area.
@ElKnuckelhombre: Wife: I left the kids with you for a half hour & they dumped 3 pounds of sugar in the dryer trying to make cotton candy. Me: Did it work?
@Discourt: My toddler is legit angry at me because I wouldn't let her jump out a second story window today. This is why you need birth control ladies.