@juliussharpe: The gun range is great practice for being attacked by a paper target.
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@bdbdleeroybrown: Tampon commercials create an unrealistic expectation of how much fun it is to be around menstruating women.
@notalogin: After the hipster got his girl pregnant, he wouldn't shut up about how he was into her before she got big.
@SCbchbum: According to rom coms, I haven't met the perfect guy because I've never chased an important paper down the block in a gust of wind.
@PetrickSara: Welcome back to school kids. Please form an orderly line. If you don't already have a highly contagious virus, one will be assigned to you.