@MommaUnfiltered: The guy at the gym said rest days are really important, so I've been resting for 6 years.
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@TheHyyyype: SURGEON: *cutting open patient's torso* NURSE: sir, what are you doing?! this is a knee replacement! SURGEON: there's a Pokémon in there
@aaroncoal: I always keep gluten next to my bed in case a hipster breaks into my house in the middle of the night.