@MommaUnfiltered: The guy at the gym said rest days are really important, so I've been resting for 6 years.
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@PetrickSara: This other mom was complaining about being so sick that her MIL took the kids for a few days. KID FREE for DAYS! So I licked her face.
@funnyordie: Happy Columbus Day! Celebrate by going to the wrong house after work then claiming it as your own.
@FrogAvalanche: News Anchor: Our correspondent at the scene had this to say. *cut to correspondent* Correspondent: This.
@amethystxmatt: turns out skrillexs music has healing properties: during a concert, a paralysed boy stood up and left