@Sarcasmo718: The guy I just cut off thinks he's gonna destroy my car with high beams.
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@benicus_rex: The barber asked me "do u have any kids" & I said "I do not, no" and he got very quiet, realize now he probs thought I said "I do not know"
@Storminika: I asked a blonde friend to check if my blinker was working, her reply was 'Yes, it is. No, it's not. Yes, it is. No, it's not.'
@DaveWeasel: If your new boyfriend carved your initials into a tree on your first date, let the fact he brought a knife be a sign of things to come.
@dlicj: flight attendant: as u can see the captain has turned on the no murdering sign [guy next to me is still murdering someone] me: um excuse me