@ManJuggs: The guy I’ve been paying to pick up poop in my backyard just realized that I don’t own any animals.
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@arielleBigBlue: When a guy wearing shorts and sandals to a bar is picking out songs on the jukebox, it's going to end badly for everyone.
@Lexi__Alexandra: A recent study shows 50% of people think that people who can't spell are idiots .. The other 50% said "that's ridiclious!"
@ElgatoEsmio: [trapped on a patch of ice that's melting in the Arctic ocean] [rubs Genie bottle] “can you hook me up with some wifi?"