@ManJuggs: The guy I’ve been paying to pick up poop in my backyard just realized that I don’t own any animals.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@_wangwe: Superman's first day at the daily planet. Boss: Since you're new, you might need supervision. Clark: I have that, superhearing too.
@sip_at_home_mom: Toddler misbehaves, but follows it up with throwing his hands in the air and yelling "Ta-da!" so he won't get in trouble. Stealing it.
@peachesanscream: To find out your cat name, pick any name at random and refuse to answer to it.
@iGreenMonk: How girls put on their pants: *Left leg* *Right leg* *Wiggle* *Wiggle* *Jump* *Jump* *Squat* *Stretch* Done..