@SortaBad: The guys who measure out the granite so it fits nicely in your kitchen were prob mad when they found out the term counterfeiters was taken
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@murrman5: [her thinking to herself in the restaurant] he seems nice and normal [me thinking to myself] she let the waiter twist her pepper 8 twists??
@kelkulus: Apple will start making Macs in America. In related news, Macs will now cost 3 billion dollars. #SOTU
@Lerky: Me: you're like heroin. Her: Why? Because you're addicted to me? Me: No, because you're ruining my life.
@murrman5: HI? "The test results came back positive. You have only able to speak in state abbreviations disease" ME? "yes" OH "sorry it's permanent" OK