@SortaBad: The guys who measure out the granite so it fits nicely in your kitchen were prob mad when they found out the term counterfeiters was taken
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@AristotlesNZ: Tech support guy asked me to rank my issue as normal, urgent, or extremely urgent. I did a 6min long scream into the phone & let him decide.
@FunkyFresh_79: Greatest days of my life: 3) Day I got married 2) Day my first kid was born 1) Day Facebook let you turn off notifications for their games
@Book_Krazy: Fitness coach: have you been exercising & doing push-ups? *Flashback to me running after the ice cream man & buying all the push-ups* "yes"
@Nicoleroxxu: One more glass of wine and my "only a lesbian from the waist up" rule is about to go out the window.